We're into the second week of daycare now (still doing about 2 hours a day). But we've thought, observed, discussed with others, thought some more over and over and come to a few realizations (relevant to us, may not be for everyone of course). Here they are, in no particular order.
No matter what kind of care you set up for your child, whether it's daycare, a nanny or even relatives in some cases, how it plays out ultimately comes down to the child's and the care giver's personalities.
At one, babies do not really *play* with one another (which has been the most common reason quoted to me in support of early daycare). Play dates at this age result in babies sitting side by side with their toys, each playing with his own. They might interact occasionally with one another but they really socialize with adults rather than other babies. They learn primarily from adults, especially things like communication and understanding of the world around them. They do tend to pick up on things like walking and other motor skills from watching other babies, but like I've mentioned in my earlier post, nothing they cannot do by themselves over time. I am in no hurry for my son to walk, not in any competition here. So I have debunked my own belief from earlier that babies *need* to hang out with other babies a lot more than adults. After the age of 2 there is definitely truth to this.
There is no warmth / bonding in my son's daycare teachers. I personally think that one can never be an excellent teacher (for any age group actually and any subject or activity, not just one year olds) if he or she doesn't develop a bond with the kids. That said, I also feel it's a lot more important for younger children than older ones. There are some babies, however, who couldn't care less who their care giver is. I have met one or two such babies. But as far as I've seen, for the most part, babies do really look to bond with their care givers (my son definitely). From my personal teaching experience I feel that children of any age group learn a lot better and with more enthusiasm if they bond with their teachers. So this is incredibly important for us.
Adding to the above point, taking your child's personality into account is very important while deciding the type of care you want when they are so young. Our son is a chatty and curious little child. He loves to "talk" with people. He does self-play and exploration too but he really likes the human interaction. So daycare is not really the best place for him right now. The teachers simply aren't that proactive in talking with the babies, even with the small teacher-children ratio in Vik's classroom. I'm starting to think this and my above point is a philosophical difference - I've been told by at least 2 people in the past week that daycare teachers that follow a more montessori approach tend to be that way.
There is not enough fun built into the daycare experience for a one year old. There is too much focus on intellectual development (a lot of sitting / lying around doing relatively mellow activities). We play chasing around games, hide and seek, tickle, roll around, play with our fingers, simply sing out loud or make random sounds, jump around and do other silly things. I also talk with Vik a lot through the day, say words and ask him to repeat them. He loves that. We have a lot of fun with language in general since he has always been so keen on talking. He will not get that in daycare. Perhaps it is unreasonable to expect all this from daycare at all. All the more reason to not send him there until he is older and that matters less. At one, I don't want him forced to sit around doing activities all day with just an hour of "playground time" here and there. I fear he might become too structured and lose some of his free spirit.
At daycare, the children are limited to one room with only children's toys, furniture and books all day long. The experience is very different at home for a child. There are so many doors to open, so many cupboards to explore, so many household objects to play with. When I'm cooking, to keep him occupied, I often hand him random (safe) objects like wooden spatulas, rolling pins, small spoons, big spoons, plastic containers, stainless steel containers and so on. I've been doing this since he was 8 or so months old. It's very interesting to watch how the child explores such objects and plays with them. So he is not just limited to things specifically built for babies. I really feel such exploration helps the child explore his creative side, interact with normal objects and they really have fun with containers and such! Amazing how much pure joy banging with a spoon on a plate brings to a child. And when he finally figured out how to close a box, that moment of joy on his face was priceless. Now Vik is exploring screw tops and slowly getting a hang of it. I feel like too much of playing just with things made for babies imposes a certain artificial development aspect. Like they are not part of the environment they're growing up in, rather contained in a baby bubble.
Another thing I am not particularly thrilled about the daycare experience so young is that it can force a child into a schedule that they really not ready for. There are some things that I truly believe will happen naturally. So far this has served us well in raising Vik. I've never really had to actively transition him to fewer naps or bed times or any such thing. We simply follow his cues and it has led to good schedules for us. He is really not ready for a one nap schedule which is enforced in the toddler program he is part of. While any baby can technically be retrofitted into such a schedule, I'd rather not put him through it. It often results in very tired babies for a period of time until their brains and bodies can adjust fully. He is sort of in a transitionary period where he takes one nap some days but every few days he will "catch up" with two. There isn't much room for doing this at daycare. Beyond the first adjustment period, there isn't really much room for such things.
Anyway, overall, I think the point is that both the husband and I are changing our minds about Vik continuing at daycare for now. We will probably do daycare when he is older but right now we're heavily leaning towards more individualized care.
PS (10/14/13) - I'm noticing that after a few times of telling the teachers in different ways that they should take an active part in reassuring Vik, they are taking some efforts and I see a difference in his behavior towards them last 2-3 times he went. He calms down when they pick him up (something they didn't do at all initially). He actually took a few bites today at the daycare, which is huge! He also greeted me today without crying and said bye to the teacher - which is even bigger! Anyhoo, we decided that we will not be deciding on daycare vs. nanny based on how he's adjusting but on what value he will get out of it. Adjust he will, but what he gets out of it is entirely different.
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